Ok now what? That seems like the question everybody is asking. When can we get back to normal? It seems like there is a general restlessness to get back there – back to who we were and what we were doing before the world broke. Maybe it’s too soon to start up life again, maybe it isn’t. We’re about to find out, I guess. From what I understand governments have plans to phase in reopening society and business. There are smarter people than me in charge so I’ll let them make the decisions about gradually ending isolation. I hope they are right. I miss my family and friends. Zoom doesn’t cut it.
And I really, REALLY hope they aren’t wrong. When I think about the fact that most of the people who have died from the virus died alone, isolated from their loved ones…
Well, I don’t want to think about that. But we should be very careful how and when we get back to “normal”.
What if we want to rush back to a “normal” that isn’t there anymore?
What if the “normal” we all knew isn’t what’s best for us?
I believe that God is intimately interested and present in what I am going through. When a crisis hits I have learned to be introspective and ask myself what he wants to teach me. What can I learn from this? What needs to be broken and rebuilt in me? What can I do better? What do I need to let go of? Do I need to turn the page?
What now?
What’s next?
I have walked my journey with a lot more questions than answers. What’s comforting to me during this COVID 19 crisis is that there aren’t many answers out there. Even the powerful, the educated, or the rich don’t have answers for it. There are tons of opinions about who to blame for it and what to do to cure it, but not a lot of answers.
I have come to understand, especially in the past few weeks that there is much about life around me I can’t control. The one thing I can control is me – expressing my opinions (I’ve failed in doing this at times so I probably need to apologize if I’ve offended anybody) my emotions, my effort, my outlook in general.
I believe in Jesus – who he said he is, his story, and that he’s ultimately in control. But Jesus doesn’t always give me answers. He gives me strength to live through the questions.
There are those who will call me weak because they incorrectly refer to me as “religious”. Jesus Christ was the least religious person to ever live. But I will gladly take on the title of being weak. Jesus tells us that he didn’t come for the strong and the people that think they have all the answers, he came for the doubting, weak and broken.
I’m not here to say that I have it all figured out. I have my anxious days. Days where I don’t even feel like getting out of bed because of fear and discouragement. But for the most part there is a deep hope I have inside me that is always there. What’s hope for me? Knowing that the story isn’t over, no matter how bad things seem.
That’s more or less easy for me to say I guess. If you have a close friend or family member who has the virus or has died from the virus it’s difficult to find hope and you’re most likely reading this with an overwhelming urge to hit me. There are people out there who have lost their jobs and may not get them back. They are worrying about losing their houses. Marriages are ending. So I understand why people want to rush back to “normal”. I guess all of us are being forced to ask ourselves what normal we want. The normal I want is to see my family and my friends again. I think that’s what all of us need right now. More than answers, solutions and opinions we need to know there are people who love us just the way we are. People who care about what happens to us.
